Dad Style

Last year when my first book sold, I called up my dad.

This is what my dad said, “Someone bought your book? That’s great. What’s it called?”

“Tips on Having a Gay (ex) Boyfriend.”

My dad began laughing, “Ho boy. Ho… boy. Wait till I tell your Aunt Athelee that one. Tell me that again. .. Gay what?”

“Tips on Having a Gay (ex) Boyfriend.”

My father then laughed some more. “Let me write that down. That’s really the title? Ho…boy.”

“I don’t get to make the title, Dad. It’s not my title.”

“I know! I know! But that’s so — ho boy — that’s funny, hold on.”

Then about six months later, I was talking to my dad on the phone while simultaneously trying to make shepard’s pie and he said, “How many books have you sold?”

I told him.

“Three? Three! In less than a year?”

“Yep,” I said, dicing onions, which always makes me cry.

He was really quiet and then he said, “Your grandfather was a really literate man. He was a great reader, you know. And my mother…she loved poems.”

“I know that, Dad,” I said, wiping my eyes with a paper towel that smelled like onions and only made things worse.

Then he swallowed so loudly I could hear it and he said, “I’m dyslexic you know. I don’t read very well.”

“I know Dad. You’re super smart though,” I said this because sometimes my dad forgets that he is super smart.

The silence settled in and he finally said, “I’m just really proud of you. You know that, right? I’m really, really proud of you.”

It’s been about a year since that conversation. I’ve sold three more books, making my total six.  And ever time I tell my dad, he gets choked up. He gets proud.

There’s a couple points here.

The first point is that my dad is my hero. He is capable of celebrating without envy. He is capable of joy about a book, about writing, even though he considers one of his biggest weakness his poor reading skills. We should all be like that.

The other point is that we are always hearing about how kids don’t have the chance to do better than their parents economically or with their education. And sometimes that’s true. But sometimes… sometimes it isn’t true at all. Sometimes the American Dream becomes reality. And when that happens, it isn’t just the kid who makes it, it’s that kid’s parents, it’s that kid’s community.

I’ve been very lucky to have so many heroes like my dad and my mom in my life. A lot of Ellsworth parents and grandparents are like my dad. They are heroes, every single one.