But to start you off…. Here is the about me section that all authors have on their websites.
Carrie Jones likes Skinny Cow fudgsicles and potatoes. She does not know how to spell fudgsicles. This has not prevented her from writing books. She lives in Bar Harbor, Maine, but she grew up in Bedford, NH where she once had a séance with cool uber-comedian Sarah Silverman. Her house was terribly haunted. Pencils would randomly catch fire. Never a good thing.
Carrie has three overly friendly dogs and one fat cat. All like fudgicles. Only the cat likes potatoes. This may be a reason for the kitty’s weight problems (Shh… don’t tell).
Carrie has always loved cowboy boots, but has never owned any. This is a very wrong thing. She graduated from Vermont College’s MFA program for writing. And was awarded the distinguished alum award a couple of years later. See photo for proof:
Yes, she is holding the amazing award on her head in a totally respectful manner. Yes, she does seem to have 82 chins in that picture. In real life, she only has one chin. Her chins were overachieving there. Also, this is the best Carrie can do at looking distinguished.
She has edited newspapers and poetry journals and has won awards from the Maine Press Association and also been awarded the Martin Dibner Fellowship as well as a Maine Literary Award and an IPPY. She’s lots of other awards for writing, but she is not into listing them, even though they are cool.
Carrie can not take a selfie. It is a disorder.
Here’s the lowdown about Carrie…
- Carrie exists.
- Carrie can not drink coffee. Do not give her caffeine.
- Carrie is very responsive to loving strokes on the hair, kind of like a puppy. However, do not do this without asking first unless you are a ridiculously handsome man or an editor who is about to offer her a trillion dollars for the first draft of her novel.
- Carrie is secretly really, really shy even though she’s pathetically outgoing in person. She has a very hard time calling people. So, if you want to talk to her, make the first move. And, if you’re one of her best friends, do NOT get mad at her because she is so bad at returning emails or actually answering the phone.
- Carrie sometimes wears mismatched socks, if you do not think this is cool, do not tell her. You will hurt her feelings.
- Carrie really, really wants you to like her books. Please like her books. PLEEEAASSSEEEE. She’ll be your best friend forever. That is, if you want a friend who is shy about calling and emailing and who wears mismatched socks and can’t drink caffeine and likes being pet on the head. Hhmmm….
- Carrie is not above begging.
- Carrie, like Belle in TIPS ON HAVING A GAY (ex) BOYFRIEND, drinks Postum. It’s for the same reason, too.
- Carrie, like Nick in NEED, once had a MINI.
- Carrie, like Mana in FLYING, knows far too much about cheering and tumbling routines and what it’s like to not know exactly who you are.
- Carrie, like Annie in TIMESTOPPERS, worries about messing up all the time.
- Carrie loves Great Pyrenees dogs. They are huge and white, and furry and it looks like they have white eyeliner and mascara on, which is way too cute. Do you have one? Send a picture!
- Carrie lives in Maine. She has a hard time with this in the winter. It is bleak in Maine in the winter. Imagine everything shades of gray and brown and no green anywhere except for in people’s noses. This is Maine in Winter. Maine in summer is the best place in the world, so it’s a trade-off. Feel free to invite Carrie to your house in the winter, but not if it’s in Greenland, Canada, or anywhere north of Florida.
- Forget that. She’d still probably come.